Mathematics of parenting

Yesterday my youngest son, a fifth grader, was sitting on his bed doing homework. He's had a pretty big work load lately, so I went to check on him. He was working on his math work, finding the area of different shapes and solids.

His current problem was to find the area of a trapezoid. I said, "Wow, a trapezoid? That one looks hard." He proceeded to show me all the strategies for divining the area: "You find the area of the rectangle and then the two triangles on the ends; you could move the triangle from one end, flip it, and put on the other end making a larger rectangle; or you could turn it into a larger rectangle, then subract twice the area of one triangle."

Neat. I pursued the conversation. "It sounds like you really know your stuff. I love geometry. You know, a lot of these same principals are the building blocks of calculus, where you're finding the area under a curve."

"Oh yeah, I know about calculus. It was discovered by Sir Isaac Newton."

Oh no. My thoughts raced. Everything from 'I'm a bad parent' to 'what are these people teaching my son?!' (I know this teacher, and she's great.)

You see, the question of who discovered the Calculus is the 'Yankees vs Red Sox' debate of mathematics. As I've already stated, I fall firmly on the side of Gottfried Wilhelm Liebniz on this debate. Why I prefer Leibniz doesn't really matter, as i said, it's a long-standing debate and my allegience owes more to my schooling in philosophy, than mathematical truths. The Rationalists still remain my favorites, and since this is my blog, I don't have to be politically correct and proclaim him to be the "co-founder" of calculus.

So here I am, faced with one of my first instances of having a different perspective from my children. Next thing you know, I'll be hating on their music and telling them they need haircuts. I am happy to see that my children will grow up thinking for themselves and developing their own thoughts and beliefs.

But damn it, they'd better get this one right.


Now reading: Changeless by Gail Carriger, the second book of The Parasol Protectorate

Birthday cake & slumber party

Last weekend was my son's 12th birthday party, a sleepover with six of his best friends. Naturally, a birthday party must have a cake. My wife spent two days working on this cake. Baked it on Thursday night, frosted and decorated it on Friday night. It looked great, one of her best "normal" cakes -- she usually does character cakes based on whatever theme the boys want.

So, Saturday morning we leave to run errands (library, grocery store, etc.) and put the cake in the oven for safe keeping. Right.

After our errands, we arrive home tired and hungry. I run into the kitchen to make some lunch for the boys while wifey is doing something else. And, as you've already guessed, I turned on the oven. Five minutes later I smell something burning and run back to the kitchen as understanding dawns.

The cake is ruined. The icing has crystalized as the butter in it melted out. The wax candles have completely melted away. I just stand with my head hanging down, on the verge of tears. My son came running in to see what the outburst was all about, and bravely held back his own dismay. My wife, recognizing that she had two choices, mercifully chose to laugh rather plant a butcher knife between my shoulder blades. She's a wonderful woman that way.

So we went into Emergency Baking Mode. We've done it before, since she used to decorate cakes for fun and profit as a sometimes-paying hobby. My wife ran to the store for more gluten-free cake mixes and sugar for icing while I cleaned up the kitchen and made ready. And wallowed in quagmires of self-pity and guilt the likes of which the modern world has never seen. I mean, I felt like crap. I couldn't believe what I'd done.

Several hours later, we had a new cake. It wasn't nearly as cool as the original, but it was close.  And it was awesome. My wife remained supportive and light-hearted through it all, mostly because she recognized that she now has a free-pass for life. In my eyes, she can literally do no wrong forever.

So then we move to the slumber party. It was only slightly crazy. I was able to help entertain the boys who weren't playing video games by teaching them a couple of card games (Super Munchkin and Zombie Fluxx). I was surprised at which boys wanted to play.

Later, after pizza and cake, I led them in many rounds of Werewolf, which they absolutely loved. Again, a dynamic arose that surprised me. The one kid who was off his ADHD meds kept getting killed by the villagers (the other boys), whether they believed him to be a werewolf or not. It was a scene straight out of Lord of the Flies. He exclaimed, "Why do y'all keep killing ME?" And one of the younger boys replied (bless his heart), "Because you're being annoying." And the kid took it to heart. He made a strong attempt to settle down. It didn't work very well, but he was trying.

Then later, he asked if HE could lead the next game and began looking over the rules. Unfortunately, we never got to play that next game, because the group had already decided that they wanted to watch a movie. I wish we could've played that additional game because his over-abundance of energy would've been well-applied, and by moderating rather than participating, he would've had a leadership role amongst the group. And he would've handled it very well.

The party was a blast overall, and all the boys enjoyed it. So did I, for that matter. And I got the satisfaction of having one of the boys ask, "Where do you find these awesome games?!" The boys culminated their party with a massive pillow fight in the living room, where they were all camped out. And of course, my wife had to threaten to sleep on the couch if they didn't settle down. They were all asleep within minutes.

Now listening to: Seven Nations latest disc, Time as the Enemy

First Saturdays - a dice-rolling good time!

We are fortunate to be able to spend New Year's Eve with friends. We eat, we drink, we play games, and we hang out with our friends. And this year ended with a bout of "American Pie" on some version of Guitar Rock Hero Band at 3:00 a.m. But we had fun, even so.

My wife and I had so much fun that we've decided to re-enact New Year's Eve on a monthly basis with an afternoon spent playing games with friends. We're dubbing the occasion "First Saturdays" and we started it this weekend. Not everyone we invited was able to make it, but that's okay. We'll do it again in a few weeks.

The afternoon's fun was composed of a pretty good mix of games:

• Inn Fighting (where players are participants in a terrific tavern brawl)
• Ninja Burger (delivering fast-food takeout to the most unlikely of locations without being seen)
• The Big Idea (playing venture capitalists bringing new inventions to market and trying to make the most money)
• Snorta (a memory game where everyone makes animal sounds - lots of silly fun and NOT a drinking game)
• Apples to Apples (picking the best representation of a descriptive word)
• Sorry (the standard kids board game)

There were so many games to choose from and a good mix of people. If we'd had one or two more people, we could have broken into two groups. As it was, we had a great time and the four children in attendance joined in most of the games. Personally, I'm just glad to be able to pull out some of the games we don't play very often, and also have the opportunity to play new ones. At last count, we own more than 70 board and card games, and that's not counting all of the standard fare of kids games like Life and Mousetrap.

I can't wait for next month! I also can't believe I roleplayed and board-gamed in the same week. It's starting off to be a great year!

Now reading: Gail Carriger's Soulless

Christmas is over, Charlie Brown

It ended today, around 2:00 pm, amidst a game of Yu-Gi-Oh. Attitudes manifested and words were exchanged. By the end of the scene, one son was in his room, grounded for the rest of the day and the other was sitting on the couch in tears, upset by the way his younger brother had treated him out of frustration.

My wonderful wife, who did NOT lose her temper during the episode, began to debrief with the older (11 years old) sibling. They discussed how the younger brother (10 years old) sometimes had problems treating others with respect and ran his mouth without the benefit of a Common Sense Filter. That dear friends is life with ADD, and I assure it that it is harder on the boy than it is on us, because we believe in consequences.

Anyway, my wife became concerned and brought the conversation to my attention because the older son was describing, in detail, how to go about disposing of the body. His younger brother's body. She became a bit alarmed, but I reassured her that all young boys & men considered thoughts of this sort, especially if they were the type NOT to assault their fellow human beings in idle retaliation. And that the subset of those young boys & men who grew up to become serial killers was quite small indeed. Now please leave me be so that I can return to watching my Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Saw marathon.

Actually, I was watching a documentary called Big Rig, about the life and culture of the American truck driver. It was quite accurate and well done, although all of the subjects in the movie were quite upset with the government and their taxes, fees, and fuel prices. The film was made in 2007, during the height of our country's unreasonable fuel prices. Great documentary, I highly recommend it. It brought back many sights, smells, and experiences of my childhood. I practically grew up in cab of an 18-wheeler.

Several hours later, I am happy to report that the younger sibling is still alive, albeit subdued after a long nap. The older sibling has for the most part moved on after the dispute.
Now reading: Pax Romana by Jonathan Hickman

Game review: Family Business

Family Business is a fun mobster card game. Each player has a mob "family," which are card sets made up of real-life gangsters and robbers. The idea is to keep as many of your gangsters alive as possible, while trying to kill the gangsters belonging to the other players.

Meanwhile, everyone is playing action cards to 'finger' other players' gangsters (pointing them out to the authorities), trying to kill those who have been fingered, and trying to rescue their own gangsters from the line up.

As gangsters are fingered, their cards are played in a line up in the center of the table. Eventually, due to card play or after a certain number of gangsters are placed in the line up, they start getting killed (and removed from play), at a rate of one per turn. Since the execution happens at the front of the line, a gangster's position in the line is important.

We found this game to be very intense and game play became almost cutthroat as players tried to gun down opponents' gangsters while keeping their own gang out of the line up. I suggest this game as a good way of channeling the competitive players in your group. I enjoyed this game a lot, but it took a little while to learn. Meaning just a few minutes. I suggest playing a practice game just to get familiar with the different cards and eb and flow of game play.

Now drinking: Saranac's winter sampler, where I'm reminded again that Saranac makes a bitter stout. The copper ale is good, but the rest of the box is mediocre.

On Geckos and Persuasive Maneuvers

GeckoTime.com has great info & photos.

As my wife and youngest son were leaving school the other day, they ran into another teacher and her pet albino gecko. No, I don't know the circumstances, maybe the teacher was taking the gecko for a walk. She took the time to let my son pet the beast, and told him a few things about taking care of geckos.

"His skin feels like chicken flesh. Is he cold?" No, that's just his skin. 

She told them that she also has another gecko, but left him in the tank because "he's the mean one." It hisses at people and doesn't like to be touched. The teacher went on to explain how it once lost a fight with a dog and was still angry about having to regrow a leg and part of its tail. I'm guessing that it probably started the fight. 

Naturally, when they came home and told my other son and me about this awesome gecko, the conversation quickly got out of hand. The boys lined up and faced off against us on the scrimmage line, in a verbal game of football. The potential gecko was the figurative ball that they attempted to move down the field to the goal line of our home. They began their drive with a listing of those attributes that make geckos great pets:

They're cute. Five yard gain.
They're friendly. Incomplete pass.
They're quiet. First down.
They're easy to care for. Gain a few more yards.
They eat crickets. Interception.

Penalty called: 15 yards, offense, crickets on the field. Replay the down.

My wife doesn't get along with crickets. She had a frightening encounter with a swarm of crickets invading her yoga class in college. As she lay on the floor, her consciousness floating in the aether of peace and harmony, a cricket jumped on her face, like a face-hugger attempting to implant its egg in her stomach. To this day when she encounters a cricket, she jumps higher than it does.

In a last-ditch effort to reach the goal, the youngest rushes up the middle. "You know mom, if we got a gecko, you'd only have to take care of four pets." And he doesn't even make it back to the line of scrimmage.

"Wait a minute. WHO would be taking care of them?" Incomplete pass. "And what do you mean FOUR pets??" The defense mounts a strong line.

"Well," The center snaps the ball to the quarterback. "Yes...there's the dog, the gerbil, the gecko, and the crickets." Fumble.

But wait, the ball is recovered by the offensive team as the other son jumps in for a save. "Yeah mom. And you know what? Tarantulas eat crickets too!" And that's a sack. In their own end zone.And the ball explodes on impact.


Here's to hoping Santa doesn't show up with a box of crickets at YOUR house. He's certainly not allowed to bring any here.


Now reading: Jim Butcher's new book of short stories, Side Jobs.

New Avengers Animated Show

Of all the other things I have to blog about, this one jumps to the front of the line. I'm sitting here eagerly awaiting the premiere of The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes on Disney XD. Forget No Ordinary Family, this series is the real deal.

I got a sneak peak at the series this week when the network showed the 5-6 minute mini-episodes that serve as backstory to the real series. They serve to introduce the characters and set up the major plots for the show. And it's looking good. If you don't get Disney XD, the mini-episodes are all viewable on the show's website. Hopefully the full-length 30-minute episodes will be posted there too.

The show, so far, seems to be grounded in Silver Age Avengers storylines (Hydra is the primary criminal presence) tempered with modern influences, namely the Iron Man movies and a touch of Ultimates flavor. The characters are properly represented and characterized, and there are cameos aplenty, especially of villains.

The series is helmed by Jeph Loeb, so everything should be fine. We're in good hands with someone who knows the source material and understands superhero stories. And here, he won't be hampered by having to reach mass market audiences, the way he was with Heroes. This is pure comic book TV.

My favorite Avengers are present, namely Hank Pym and Hawkeye. Hank begins the show as Ant-Man, but I've already seen clips of him moving on to Giant Man. Hopefully they'll handle his characterization well and we'll see him quickly progress all the way to Yellowjacket and his mental breakdown.

The Avengers have always been my favorite comic book characters and super team, even years before Kurt Busiek and George Perez breathed new life into the book on their run (and as far as I'm concerned, the book ended when they left it). I really like what I've seen of this TV show so far. I can handle the modernizations they've done in the name of making the show connect more to the new live action movies and making characters a little less campy (ie, this version of the Grim Reaper is much less dorky, and Nick Fury is a black man like in his other modern incarnations). All that stuff is fine. The only negative comment I have is what they've done to Wasp. She looks a bit goofy.


Now reading: Revisiting the good stuff from Weis & Hickman - Dragons of Winter Night